Things I Say to Myself; When I Actually Listen

We all have conversations with ourselves on a daily basis (whether we realize it or not). The “self–improvement gurus” call it “self talk.” Some of us have these conversations silently; others (including myself) have them out—loud. My wife (God bless her–for only he truly knows what she has had to endure all these years) says I process audibly, I on the other hand see it for what it is—I talk to my self. I have no problem with these conversations because for the most part I rarely listen (especially to the negative ones). I have learned to tune myself out.

On the occasion when I do listen, I take notes. I have noted, Shelton (thats what I call myself when I talk to myself–we’re on a first name basis) you want your children to have your values, your sense of right and wrong. For that to happen you have to be there when they are formulating their character. Be involved in their daily lives and recognize the opportunities to demonstrate who you are and what you value through your actions. In other words lead by example ( another self–improvement guru tip).

The other day I was given a great opportunity, but at the moment it was “offered” I really didn’t appreciate its importance or value. My wife had a tennis match, which happened to coincide with my Sunday “Sharpen the Saw” time (watching football). Unfortunately that wasn’t the opportunity she was presenting, it was the problem. My daughter had a Jr. Girl Scout meeting at the same time as the tennis match. This was no ordinary meeting it was an exploratory meeting to determine if the young ladies and their mothers were going to become Juilettes or join another Troop (their troop had recently disbanded). Juilettes are independent Girl Scouts that can meet together as a Troop (even though they are not) when they are one scout shy of a Troop. There are other advantages that come with being Juilette Jr. Girl Scouts, one being that they can dictate their own agenda–control the why and how the scouts earn/award the coveted Girl Scout badges.

In the past my involvement with the Girl Scouts have been to drop my daughter off at meetings and attend the Annual Father Daughter Dance. Now they want me to attend a meeting? “I don’t think so!” My wife, explained to me that all I had to do was show up, represent her, and take notes. Surely I could do that? “I don’t think so!”

At the meeting, there I was dressed in my Dallas Cowboy sweatshirt and Dallas Cowboy bandana; with planner and pen in hand, diligently ready to take notes. The plan was simple; be quiet, take her notes, and get out ASAP. But, as the “other mothers” presented the pros and cons, I felt compelled to speak, I tried to resist, the urge was too great, I found myself in the middle of a discussion about how the Not–Troop should be run. I think the ladies were a little surprised but delighted with my input because before I knew it I had committed to leading the next meeting to help the girls write their own mission statement.

If you know me you know, you know if I commit to something I’m all in. While researching the origins of the Girl Scouts for information to tie into my presentation I found myself on forgirlsonly.com where I discovered a new award that tied in perfectly to my subject. I immediately compiled the information and forwarded it to the “other mothers” with the thought of it being the first badge our “Not–Troop” achieves. The mothers loved the idea; I incorporated it into my presentation. At the meeting, I lead the discussion on writing the mission statement, elicited the girls’ and their mothers’ ideas, and together we created our mission statement and Troop name.

I throughly enjoyed the whole process. I was amazed on how well the young ladies embraced the concepts and applied them. I told them so and applauded their efforts. My daughter and I are still working together on achieving her badge.

I have trained individuals from Unwed–Welfare Mothers, to Casino Executives, to Air Force Officers, to Small Businessmen (and women) on how to write a mission statement, but none have brought me the satisfaction that I felt after the Jr Juilette Girl Scout meeting. A conversation that I had with myself when I actually listened, allowed me to recognize an opportunity to impart my values to my daughter and most importantly spend some quality time with her. Makes me feel like I need to listen to myself more often.

Until our next conversation

Shelton